Purgatory, i might be sound so excessive, but trip to bandung with Uncle Noel helped me a lot to clean my heart from this heartache.
well, my uncle passed away on december 2013. he was so young yet inspiring. he taught me a lot. how to see beauty in any kind of tears.
so...
on 2011, i was kinda having a massive broken heart. i was betrayed by my ex-boyfriend. i tried to get up. but i can't. the wound was hurting me too deep. i can't smile, i even lock up my self in my room for a week.
i lost my weight 10kg that time.
God helped me to survive. He sent me a lot of people. they support me. and they showed me what is the real love looks like.
one of this angel is Noel.
i have no money, but with his generosity he take me out for a date with him and my two other cousin!
we had a blast!
that was my first journey, went to bandung not for study or doing performance. that time, all we know to do is having fun!
he paid all the bill, the transport, he just want having fun with his nieces and nephew.
the best part of it is when he taught me to smoke. i was having a dark period that time. suffer from bullimia. i kept throwing up anything that comin' to my mouth. he tell me "try to smoke, it'll helped you for not throwing up your food."
thanks to this memories, i still remember how delicious the nasi goreng aceh on that restaurant because of it..
Noel is suffer from a disease that he never tell us.
on our last night in bandung, i saw him bleeding. he call me to get him some tissues because all the toilet paper is run out. when i pass the toilet paper to him, i saw his hand is full of blood and i see blood flow down from his nose.
later that night, when my cousins went out, i was sleeping and he was slept right next to me. i heard he call his friend. he told his friend he can't bear it any longer, the disease is killing him.
in the middle of the night, he woke me and my cousins up. looking so well, and he told us "the is great live musician performing in a mall near the hotel. let's get up and having fun"that's what he said.
i know he is in pain but he tried to dissemble it. he told us that he is okay, and very well. all he knew is to entertain us.
after seeing him like this. i know what is love looks like.
love is to see your love one happy, and we will feel good for their happiness affecting us.
thankyou for your Love, Paman. i will remember you, always..
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